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An Open Letter To Paint

Painting Skye's Room

You can tell it was the first day because there was still life in my eyes.

Dear Paint,

Remember when we first met? Remember when I took that screwdriver and pried off your lid and we faced each other for the first time? Remember how I forgot to mix you because I’m dreadful at remembering important steps but you forgave me?

Our love was pure and innocent.

And like all pure and innocent love, it was new.

Sure, I shared some frustrations on the Internet, in a fit of pique.

But I believed our bond to be everlasting.

Nothing could sever our connection, our intricate bonds of affection.

Painting, Day 2

Day 2 - also known as the first day we thought to wear socks.

Then came the second day of painting, when we realized the man at the hardware store was a liar and we would need to put on a second coat.

It was okay though, because at least we had a few extra helpers – five whole people!

Painting, Day 3

No amount of painting can stop my love of reflections.

And then the third day, re-taping and painting white over the dark green trim.

But that was okay because Skye was helping – two whole people!

Painting, Day 4

That looks fine, right? RIGHT???

And then the fourth day, having to go back over the trim.

But that was okay, because at least I had myself.

And I’m pretty awesome.

Painting, Day 4

This was as happy as I could make myself look.

Which brings us to the fifth day, when it turned out the third and fourth days were unsuccessful and another coat of white was required on the trim.

And this, this was very unpleasant.

Because by this day there was no real benefit to having me.

But none of my imaginary friends would step it up and do their part.

Paint, I think you see where I’m going with this.

You’re perpetrating a terrible injustice upon mankind, making us long for richly colored rooms yet taking our sanity when we try to obtain them.

And for that, I’m going to find your weak spot.

And I’m going to crush you.

I only hope you take this letter as the very serious warning it is.

This post was inspired 40% by painting insanity

And 60% by Alex’s post about open letters,


{ 16 comments… add one }

  • KLZ August 23, 2011, 11:48 am

    This is clearly part of the conspiracy perpertrated by the apartment painters union. They’ve even gotten their paint to go on strike.

  • Skye August 23, 2011, 12:45 pm

    My favorite part about this post is how mean I seem for making you do all my painting for me. Thank you so much, you are awesome!!! 🙂

  • Amanda Austin August 23, 2011, 12:54 pm

    Um, painting is evidence of the devil right there. How is it you can be SO CAREFUL yet still get paint everywhere? Hm? Tell me that.

  • Missy @ Wonder, Friend August 23, 2011, 1:25 pm

    I think I said the other day that the prep was the worst part of painting, but the actual painting was not so bad. I might retract that. I’d forgotten the pain of painting trim. Misery! Good luck to you. Just keep telling yourself how beautiful it will be when you finish!

  • John August 23, 2011, 2:52 pm

    I guess I’m just a tiny bit confused – because wasn’t this Skye’s place that you were painting? How exactly did it end up being “just you?”

    I’m loving the look of desperation in your face with the paintbrush. That sounds completely wrong, but I have no idea how to word right – the picture is a great capture of what appears to be frustration beyond frustration.

    I have a keyboard painted on the wall of one of my rooms. Black paint & magic-marker. I just know that I’m going to have a “you asshole” letter from whoever buys my house next (not that I have plans to move anytime soon)

  • SpilledInkGuy August 23, 2011, 3:31 pm

    What looks ‘fine’ is totally subjective, anyway.
    I often find trim I’ve painted a few dozen times looks considerably better in ‘low-light’ conditions.
    While standing on one foot.
    With my eyes closed.
    (Seriously, though, I love that reflection photo, Megan – very cool!)

  • julie gardner August 23, 2011, 4:00 pm

    That reminds me.

    I need to go to Target to buy new socks.


    p.s. Your “this is as happy as I could make myself look” face was priceless. Thank you from the bottom of my bare feet.

  • Sara August 23, 2011, 4:29 pm

    Whoever painted that trim green in the first place should be hunted down and forced to return it to a decent, pale color.

  • Jennifer@browneyedandblessed August 23, 2011, 7:31 pm

    I feel ya! It took us 4 days to paint a room smaller than yours. Our spare bedroom is currently a rose-ish color. I think our future children will just have to learn to live with it, boys or girls 🙂

  • jen August 23, 2011, 9:03 pm

    This post was colorful reminder that our family has to paint our WHOLE house this season.
    You gals aren’t interested are ya?
    We are in Virginia, it’s great here we we can paint in between the earthquakes and hurricanes, it will be great!

  • Suniverse August 23, 2011, 10:03 pm

    I love the idea of a freshly painted room. Like, I am DYING for my kitchen to be repainted, because it’s so gross and dirty and desperately needs it – walls and cabinets and everything BUT . . . I will not do it because it’s too daunting and the husband won’t do it because it’s a lot of work. So it just stays ugly, and those paint strips taunt me.

    But you? You’re going to show paint who’s boss. RIGHT?

  • alonewithcats August 24, 2011, 1:30 am

    I fear paint is never going to see your excited face, and that is paint’s loss.

  • Mindee@ourfrontdoor.us August 24, 2011, 10:41 am

    I am truly, deeply sympathetic.
    I hate paint and it hates me right back.

  • Barbara August 24, 2011, 2:58 pm

    Who would ever paint trim dark green? That is just evil!

  • imperfectmomma August 25, 2011, 9:32 am

    See, this is why when people ask: “Why dont you paint your apartment over?” … I look at them like they are 3 types of crazy

    • Megan August 29, 2011, 4:37 pm


      Painting is the devil.

      That is all.

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