And Then I Punched A Clown In The Face (My New Year’s Resolutions)

January 9, 2012

Awkwardly Fabulous New Year's Resolutions

I love New Year’s Resolutions. And not only because they provide a month of no lines at donut shops.

Also because it’s easy to let life get out of hand and stop trying to improve.

That’s why I find it useful to make a yearly list of resolutions, goals I hope to accomplish over the coming twelve months.

Wish me luck.

*I will build a fort made entirely out of sheets and dreams*

(Other materials allowed include chairs and hopes.)

Preferably in my own home, but others’ homes will be accepted.

*I will throw a drink in someone’s face*

In my entire life, I’ve never thrown a drink in someone’s face.

This obviously needs to be remedied.

Hopefully with me finding myself within the perfect drink throwing situation.

But if not, come December, I will attack an innocent.

*I will meet a clown*

I really, really hope he/she doesn’t try to murder me.

But we all know that’s a pretty big possibility.

*Grow my Facebook followers to 276*

At first I was going to make my goal to increase my subscribers by one.

But that would have required the effort of going to Feedburner and finding out how many subscribers I have.

And Facebook tells me in that nifty widget to the right.

Plus, I like to dream big.

#276, I know you’re out there.

And, one day, we’ll meet.

(Cue: glorious mental montage of meadow running and beach tumbling.)

*I will answer every e-mail the moment it arrives and certainly not allow everything to pile up until I eventually have thousands of unread messages and a decreased hope for the future*

This one is a lie, as I believe every New Year’s Resolution list should include one trick entry.

Oh, Mr. Email, you’ve beaten me again.

(Is what I’ll be saying in roughly six months.)

*I will only allow books I’ve actually read to grace my bookshelves*

On the bright side, this is actually super easy to accomplish.

On the even brighter side, I now look like I live in a horror movie book store.

I’m somewhat worried I’ll get behind on my list and end up frantically punching a clown on December 31st

Which makes it my first rational fear of 2012

What are your 2012 resolutions?


And Then I Punched A Clown In The Face (My New Year’s Resolutions)

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