Awkward Vignettes

January 26, 2011

giant stuffed animal

This photo has been incorrectly labeled awkward. It should be under awesome.

Airborne particles are real.

At least, that’s what I tell myself regarding my belief that no toilet should have to suffer through the seat-up seat-down debate. Rather, the lid should be always closed, especially during flushing.

This is a hard belief to implement in public restrooms, where most toilets are lacking lids.

But it was this fear that was in my mind during a recent trip to Borders.

I’d finished using the facilities when I flushed, then realized the stall doors opened inward and I would have difficulty squeezing through with my camera bag.

Suffering a momentary panic, I shoved my way through the door, tripping along the way and stumbling out into the open bathroom.

You might think  my fears are strange.

But not stranger than whatever the two women waiting along the bathroom wall thought as I tripped while barreling past them. Though they said nothing as I sedately washed my hands and left the bathroom, I could feel their eyes following me.


“You look nice today,” my mom said as she sat down.

Seeing each other on a Sunday afternoon, those were the first words out of her mouth.

“I’m wearing sweatpants,” I responded.

“Yeah, but you match.

That doesn’t happen often.”


I’m dreadful at remembering exact quotes – almost as terrible as I am at remembering names.

But stories don’t work as well without direct quotes, so I often dive towards any writing implement the moment someone says something I want preserved for posterity. In my rush I don’t always take the time to write down details like the scenario of the quotes, or even who said them.

Thus I am left with scraps of paper like the one I found tonight reading:

“I guess I’m just a nervous smiler” – Me

“A nervous smiler… well, I guess that beats a nervous flatulent. I’m just trying to be positive.”

As I didn’t write it down immediately, and have somehow forgotten this entire incident, I guess I’ll never know who spoke those words.

But I’m sure whoever did is grateful I took the time to grab a pen.

Awkward is as awkward does,


Awkward Vignettes

{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: