Bigfoot Sighting

January 19, 2012

 Bigfoot Sighting

A Bigfoot discovery, aka the dream, has happened.

I’ve had to tell you all some pretty big news lately. Skye has thyroid cancer. The iPhone mocks me. I’m too fat for toilets.

But none of that will directly impact your lives.

Not like today’s discovery, that Bigfoot is real.

And he’s in America.

(If I may suggest, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.)

(Unless you have some sort of large, indestructible weapon.)

(Then it’s probably best for all of us if you hold your ground.)

I always believed that when the day came that an imaginary creature was proven to be real, it’d be Nessie.

(For those not as close, she prefers Ms. Loch Ness.)

(And no monster, that’s just mean.)

(She suffered enough in middle school.)

(As you can imagine – she was going through a goth phase.)

(Parents – they just don’t understand.)

Bigfoot is Real

I’d like everyone to take a minute and just soak in the present.

For this is a special time, before your innocence and spinal cavity is shattered in the Bigfoot uprising.

Yesterday, we scarcely believed that Bigfoot existed, that he was out roaming the countryside, sacrificing virgins and drinking unicorn blood.

(That’s Bigfoot, right?)

But today we know the truth.

Bigfoot is real.

Bigfoot is out there.

And, apparently, he’s reproducing.

This can’t end well.

It took Lindsey an hour to respond after my first message

And I kept hoping she would

Because I wanted to take a screenshot that didn’t include the last conversation we’d had over iMessage.

Which was about the Kardashians,

Megan

Bigfoot Sighting

{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }

Casey January 19, 2012

This is fantastic. One of your best yet and that is quite a feat, ladies and gentlemen.

My children are obsessed with ‘pink foot’ and finding him. In California. By the ocean.

Thank God they’re cute b/c they’re not so smart.

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Lorrie January 19, 2012

Now that I know Bigfoot exists I must make my preparations. Wow! What are we going to do to stay alive? I must ponder on this life-changing (or ending) revelation. See ing conversation on the Kardashians may help me. ;)

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Maureen January 19, 2012

Isn’t there a show about looking for Bigfoot on TV? They should totally go to Virginia.

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Mindee@ourfrontdoor January 19, 2012

More interesting to me is how you get screen shots of your texts.

(Clearly I live with a man who watched way too much of the SyFy channel, ’cause Bigfoot makes me yawn.)

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Megan January 19, 2012

Press the home button and the power button simultaneously.

(We live in a magical time.)

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Rebecca January 19, 2012

My brother is absolutely convinced that Bigfoot is out there. He has books and book of research on the topic.

We live in the northwest, where most of the sightings come from – apparently an albino one was spotted here back in the 60s.

(I’ll pass the news on to him, he’ll be thrilled!)

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SpilledInkGuy January 19, 2012

I spotted a Kim Kardashian running through the woods once.
She popped up from the underbrush and stared at me momentarily before making a strange noise and running off.
Seriously, there’s a ‘Kim’ right?
I don’t even know.
:)
p.s. I wanted to say ‘grunted’ instead of ‘making a strange noise’, but that seemed a bit harsh.

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Sandy January 19, 2012

did it have a large behind and a wedding veil on? oh, wait! scratch the wedding veil!!!

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John January 19, 2012

I can only assume, then, that the day that scientists validate the discovery here, Nessie will be found, for real. And Obama will mention that he might have thyroid cancer . . . because, this is, obviously, a telltale sign that Klosterman isn’t just a snarky music critic, but an Oracle.

But, didn’t Harry & the Hendersons show us that Bigfeet (Bigfoots?) are actually kind creatures?

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Megan January 19, 2012

Oh, John John John… that’s what Bigfoot propaganda wants you to believe.

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Nami January 19, 2012

Big Foot is one of the Kardashians? Because that explains a lot.

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Skye January 19, 2012

I’m a little concerned that Linnea’s mom knows the difference between juvenile and adult Bigfoots. (Bigfeet? Turns out I’m not sure how to refer to multiple specimens.) I definitely think she should get her sister to put out cameras.

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Misty January 19, 2012

So, how did she know it was a juvenile? Maybe, since there has never been a verified sighting, Bigfoots are actually Smallfoots. Maybe they are just normal sized creatures with exceptionally large feet. Or the ones that have been reported as being huge were just basketball playing Big/Smallfeet. I think that might be more likely.

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Sandy January 19, 2012

well now i am really confused…i always thought bigfoot(ies) hibernated this time of year :-/

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Amber January 19, 2012

There’s A Squatch In These Woods! I thought for sure when the guys at Finding Bigfoot brought along that monkey they would finally capture footage of Bigfoot but I guess he prefers young ladies to apes. PS Nessie isnt imaginary

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Karen Peterson January 19, 2012

Imagine if Bigfoot mated with Ms. Loch Ness. That would be madness.

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Carley January 19, 2012

Can we catch him for a pet? (I feel like Bigfoot, once domesticated, would make a nice lap pet) kind of life Clifford the bug red dog! Or maybe you can consider him a male friend once you get to know him! He might be cool.

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Mary @ Bites and Bliss January 19, 2012

Hahaha! A juvenile bigfoot..which I guess could be a really tall, hairy man too. Did she smell anything? I heard that whenever one is near, it smells AWFUL!

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Natalie January 19, 2012

I watched a whole show on bigfoot the other day…watch out we’re in trouble! :)

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Kimberly January 19, 2012

Are you sure that wasn’t Robin Williams roaming around out there?

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Megan January 20, 2012

You know, I haven’t seen him in a movie lately, you might be onto something…

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Vince January 19, 2012

That end of the world is on Waltons Mountain in my mind. It’s sorta hard to picture much of anything else going on there at all.

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Jen Has A Pen January 19, 2012

I’m so totally wanting to hang out with her mom. Watching this all unfold would be awesome.

And I agree with you. I had my money on Nessie too. Strange.

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Carrie January 19, 2012

Well, if he’s alive and well I’m glad to hear he’s in Virginia and not Texas.

Though after a couple of adult beverages, I could swear I’ve seen him in Wranglers, a cowboy hat and boots hanging out downtown Austin.

Which was totally my sign to head on to the car and call it a night.

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Andi January 19, 2012

You make me laugh.

Seriously. Really, really laugh.

And it’s been a rough January.

So thanks.

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Rach January 19, 2012

Haha! Ah, this is great. Especially since my husband wrote a research paper in college on the existence of Bigfoot… he got creativity points, haha!

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Christina January 20, 2012

What I love is that you did not want to take a screen shot of the Kardashian conversation (I don’t know if that is misspelled, and I’m not looking it up), but we know about it nonetheless. You’re the best.

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blackhuff January 20, 2012

I’m so glad that someone else also discovered Big Foot. Now I don’t have to think I’m mad for being the only one who saw him :)

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Lauren January 20, 2012

Oh my GOSH! I live in Virginia!!!

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Megan January 22, 2012

Me too! We’re clearly in the danger zone.

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Life of a Doctor's Wife January 20, 2012

I can’t believe your friend would suggest that there was “some guy” outside dressed in a “furry costume.” That’s just weird.

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Megan January 22, 2012

I know, right?

She can be so silly sometimes.

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Melonie January 20, 2012

Upon reading this, my first thought was that my daughter and I have needlessly spent all this time plotting and preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. Now it turns out we really have to worry more about Bigfoot. I hope that the same strategies we planned for the zombies will work for the Bigfoot Apocalypse.

Dammit.

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Megan January 22, 2012

Isn’t that how it always goes? It’s like preparing for the Mayan end of the world and then having global warming end it all the week before. Such a terrible miscalculation.

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Stephanie@MyThornsHaveRoses January 20, 2012

{scoffing} … and people wonder why I still defend our 2nd amendment rights…

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nursemyra January 20, 2012

Haha… good one Sandy

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Kara January 20, 2012

OMG!!! I’ve spent (far too many hours) this afternoon following links to the “strange noises heard around the world ( seriously, check it out on You Tube) and now there’s reports of Bigfoot?! OMG!!!

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liz January 21, 2012

What constitutes a juvenile sized Big Foot I wonder?

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Christina January 21, 2012

Megan, can you tell me if you ever have issues with autocorrect? Do you ever get or send crazy, unintentional messages. Just curious if this happens to you.

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alonewithcats January 21, 2012

My aunt used to call me “bigfoot” when I was a kid. There were no long-term ill effects. Other than scarring me for life. Thanks for dredging up my bad memories.

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Juliette January 22, 2012

Im coming to VIRGINIA. I NEED to see Bigfoot. I am now overwhelmed with excitement at this news. I’m going for a lie down.

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Nancy January 23, 2012

In Wisconsin we do not have Bigfoot we have the dog- man. It’s totally true, one was spotted not far from my house. Personally I think he needs more press, so I do what I can.

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Classic NYer January 23, 2012

I knew bigfoot personally. I went to school with him. We dated for a couple of weeks. He plays the trumpet. And he’s an asshole.

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Megan January 26, 2012

I knew it! My dreams of meeting a gentlemanly Bigfoot are dashed.

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jenn@browneyedandblsed January 23, 2012

I caught part of an episode tonight. There are Bigfoot sightings in the next state over in RI. For such a little state, many people have seen Bigfoot. Apparently they age like humans do by going grey. Who knew?

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Megan January 26, 2012

Hmm… now all I can imagine is an older, dignified Bigfoot. Now that needs to be a movement.

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