Freshman year of college I took a class in Asian history. I had thought it sounded somewhat interesting, and I was somewhat right. I sat in the fourth row center, on the left. And there was a boy. Isn’t there always? He sat in the row in front of me, to the right. He had amazing hair. I had been spending the previous summer with Sharon, and had adopted her love of boys’ hair. Lots of guys who grow their hair long (his was shoulder length) neglect the imperative rule of longer hair: conditioner. This boy followed that rule. His hair was curly and buoyant and oh-so-clean.
This boy’s hair was so nice that it caused me to do something I wouldn’t normally do. Not distract myself from the lesson, that was common. I thought about kissing him. Just writing the words make me blush. Specifically, I thought that I would then get to put my hands in his hair. I can hear you wondering where this story is going. No normal place.
As soon as I had this thought, it was followed by “what if he can hear what I’m thinking?” Now, it might seem unlikely that he would have an impossible superpower, but once the thought occurred to me I could not focus on anything else. And then I started thinking all the things you would not want to be thinking if someone was reading your mind. I will leave specifics up to your imagination.
As soon as I returned to my dorm room I gathered my group of friends and told them the story. To my surprise, they seemed weirded out. They seemed to find not only the story strange, but find me strange for my starring role. Strangely, I had not expected that reaction. I turned to Sangeetha and said, “Really, something like that would never happen to you?”
She replied, “Well, maybe, but I would never share it with people!”
Deeper Insight into My Insanity
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL! I do that all the time! I often would think stuff then to test whether they could “hear” whatever I’d think by thinking the most perverted and horrible things just to see if they would react. So far, no such luck.
One time I spoke out loud what I was thinking because I was so pissed at my in-laws for being overly concerned about their dogs instead of my baby that needed to be on the floor so that she could crawl around, working those muscles, that I just said, “I just wish that damn dog would just fucking go and die!” in front of my husband. A couple days later, that very same dog got bitten on its face twice by a poisonous snake and had to be put down to sleep due to severe necrosis. My husband is now in awe of my power. He’d be whispering to me, “Just do that to a certain person or so,” and I’m like, “Karma? Should I or should I not?”
Well, I am science geek, so it only follows if he could have read your thoughts he would have kissed YOU. (since he knew he could) so obviously he could not read your thoughts.
I have a story in the same vein. the emabarrising vien… Since we are “birds of a feather” I will humiliate myself telling you about it.
I went to catholic school. They have this weird thing called holy cards. It’s like baseball cards for religious figures. liek I said, weird! We students would get them as rewards and status was gained by your holy card count.
I was at that “tween age” when I was just starting to notice that girls were different but in magnificent and wonderful ways but I still did not understand the feelings that would wash over me.
As a reward for a good test score or something the nun gives me a Mother Mary holy card. I have no idea why but in religious art, Jesus always has ripping abs on the cross and in fairness, they made Mother Mary quite, ummm, curvy and her satiny robes seemed to hug her in just the riiiiight places.
Wow, Mary is a total hottie huh? I had impure thoughts. Then I was AGAHST at myself, how could you POSSIBLY think of the Virgin Mary as HOT? (apparently Joseph did not?) OH man you will burn in hell for sure for thinking of the virgin mother that way so stop thinking about how hot Mary is! Which of course just made me think of her more! It was an endless loop! I was terrified I was going to hell for thinking that the virgin Mary had an awesome body. Yet I could NOT stop thinking about it!
Man I hated catholic school!
I do that too.
I’m under the assumption that someone out there is a mind reader and is reading my mind at any given time.
When I’m typing in my password or putting in my pin number on an atm? I’m saying “Blahblahblahblah” in my mind. So you know, they can’t access my account. Which they wouldn’t do anyway. The pros of being a poor college student.
They are out there and now, right now, they know I’m onto them.
Which is a good thing. I think.