Some people watch the Super Bowl every year.
I am not one of those people.
Though I actually did watch this year, and despite still stinging from my tragically comical loss at fantasy football this past season, rather enjoyed it.
(Every single person I met who asks who was on my team responds with “wow, that’s a great line up.”)
(My reaction to such is not positive.)
I do, however, always gather with my mom and Lindsey and watch the Puppy Bowl.
(Skye doesn’t attend in case of accidental Super Bowl watching, as football makes her irrationally angry.)
(Which makes it sound as though she gets very into the game, though I think the opposite is true.)
(But I’ve never watched a football game with her, so, really, I can’t say.)
Allison attends hip Super Bowl parties because she’s young and not creepily into dogs like I am.
But the next day on gchat we discussed the Puppy Bowl and now all I want is to be fired from Animal Planet.
Allison: my mom’s weirdly into dogs now
and watched part
and described it
but said she thinks it sound cuter than it is
me: hahaha
there were puppies
they hung out
in a small enclosed space
and lots of grown ups
pretended
the puppies were playing a regulated sporting event
Allison: hahahaha
see, sounds awesome
me: and the hedgehogs were cheerleaders
Allison: sounds cute
me: though
they can’t have skirts
they fall off
Allison: yes
me: because they don’t have discernible waist lines
Allison: my mom told me that too
me: so it somewhat ruins the effect
Allison: and you know what I want?
I kind of want to have the job
where my huge fireable stress all day
is that I couldn’t get a the skirts on the hedgehogs
me: WHAT IF THE CHEERLEADING SKIRTS FALL OFF THE HEDGEHOGS??
Allison: like, you come home
me: god guys
you don’t even know
Allison: and you’re like- today was hellish
so stressful
I was putting out fires the whole time
decent show
but the skirts wouldnt stay on the hedgehogs
thought I was fired for sure- I carry this company, and they throw me under the bus on hedgehog skirts
me: I mean, wasn’t I the one who suggested mice cheerleaders?
we have whole tiny wardrobe rooms of mice outfits
but nooooo
we had to be fancy
get the hedgehogs
and suddenly their lack of discernible waist lines is my fault?
Allison: hahahaha
exactly
just like, the funniest thing to have to bitch about
running around all day like- WHY DID NO ONE TEST THE SKIRTS ON THE HEDGEHOGS IN ADVANCE!?
WHO DIDN’T DOUBLE CHECK THIS!?
hedgehogs are so cute- I seriously want one
I was going to name it Sidney
bc i think that’s sort of an ugly name, but kind of endearing
like a hedgehog
me: that is brilliant
Allison: I know!
Sidney the hedgehog
and I’d get one of those shirts
that’s like- whats wrong with hedgehogs? why can’t they share the hedge?
I would storm out of the Animal Planet offices in disgust, pushing over the tiny wardrobe stands of mouse dresses on my way.
And I live in hope of Allison turning into the crazy ‘hog lady, as I’ve already taken to calling her.
In the midst of transposing the above conversation
I realized it probably isn’t very funny
But I’d already done the arduous task of copying and pasting
So I couldn’t turn back,
Megan
How I Was Fired From My Fake Job At Animal Planet, Super Bowl Edition
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
We had the super bowl on tv while working on the kitchen, but I’m not into football and didn’t stop to watch much. Maybe if the skirts fell off the real cheerleaders it would be more interesting, but during all of the parts that I watched they never showed the cheerleaders anyway, just the guys running around on the field and these boring guys in the booth just talking.
It is funny, Megan. Very funny. I can just imagine Allison going all “hedgehog” on them and pushing over the racks of couse-cloths. I like it. Very funny.
It is funny! And I had to chuckle that I never once saw the cheerleaders (what little I watched) and there was that big ruckus about one who is retiring getting banned from cheering.
Not funny? OMG that was hysterical! I was imagining what person was going to lose their job over the whole Blackout Bowl fiasco but this was significantly more entertaining.
On a random side note, I had a pet hedgehog when I was in college. I named her Harley because when she was mad she’d make this huffing sound that sounded like a motorcycle engine revving. Even more challenging than the no discernible waistline issue? What to do if they get upset and curl up into their ball. You’d easily pop a seam or two. If you had to do cheerleader skirts, you’d totally have to use elastic.
I’m pretty sure you could design a rain coat that a hedgehog could wear. So you could have cheerleader hedgehogs for poor-weather games.
Dude! I totally wonder about things like that! Like who’s job it is to clean the muppets daily. I would not like that job
I rather enjoyed it. The Puppy Bowl and the conversation.
Nope. It’s pretty darned funny.
The only time I watch football is when the Saints play, though this time, I did watch because it was held in our home town… and I was laughing with the black out.. “The night the lights went out in Nawlins”
Oh man, I am so confused by the super bowl!
Hey.
My mom’s name is Sidney.
(Okay, not really. But she can’t keep her skirts on either.)
(Okay, also not really again.)
( Sorry, Mom. For those comments and for being unemployed. But all the good jobs on Animal Planet are already taken. Apparently.)
I think the Puppy Bowl was all fun!
Personally I think it’s hilarious. And now you’ve made me wish I watched the Puppy Bowl. Never even thought to watch it before. Next year.
Nothing’s funnier than a conversation between friends about a fake firing because of a hedgehog wardrobe malfunction. I mean, I’m pretty sure that is the definition of comedy right there.
Plus, the puppy bowl can get pretty boring. I mean, cute doggies, faux football terminology, blah blah blah. It’s fun for a few minutes, but then you need to watch grown men running around in tight pants, throwing each other to the ground and trying to catch a ball made of pig. Now THAT’S excitement.
Wardrobe malfunction(s)?!
Again?!
One of my daughters totally wants a hedgehog. I’m not sure what she wants to name it. It doesn’t matter, though, because I’m not getting her one.
I can’t stop laughing!
What did I just read??
You are hilarious.
I thought hedgehogs slept all the time. Or is that sloths? A sloth would make an awful cheerleader.
You are really lucky to have friends that will go with you on these things. I haven’t found a friend in Canada that can parlay with me.
OMG! I just saw the cutest picture of a hedgehog in a tutu. It immediately made me think of you and this post. Look at this adorable hedgehog. She could totally be a cheerleader!