“I’ve always known Jeff’s name. Sure, I used to confuse him with Chris all the time, but I’ve always known his name.” I argued this one Tuesday night, during a discussion of my habit of forgetting everybody’s name.
“Um… you called me John for the first year you knew me” Jeff responded.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh.”
~
Jeff had spent the night at the pet sitting house, using his masculinity to scare away the serial killers. I’d heard him showering when I woke up, but then hid out in the master bathroom, photographing a book against the tile floor. I emerged finally, only to discover Jeff had disappeared. I checked each floor, before darting outside, shivering in the newly fallen snow. But Jeff’s car was gone – as, clearly, was Jeff. I ran back upstairs, where Skye was still lying in bed. “Do you know what happened to Jeff?” I questioned. “Isn’t he downstairs?” she responded. “I heard him showering earlier.”
“He was, but now he’s disappeared. Strange, right?” I, having used all my energy walking about for a few minutes, snuggled down into the couch. I was still sitting there five minutes later when Jeff walked through the door, holding a grocery bag in his hand. Apparently he’d woken up and realized he’d forgotten something. So he showered, got dressed, and drove around through the unfamiliar neighborhood until he found a store that sold what he needed. The required item?
Hair gel.
Jeff: In 2 Stories
{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
“Vanity” just like my husband, I’m sorry can’t leave without leaving a comment, don’t want you to feel being stalked.:))
Don’t fear – I have an incredibly high stalker bar, it’s doubtful you could leap over it!
Oh that crazy John Jeff Chris. So tell me this Megan, what is the one item that you would have run to the store for?
Hair gel? Never heard of it. I know the one item I would have to run to the store for – snacks.
I’m bad with names, too, if it’s any consolation. I worry about whether I’ll be able to remember names of my new coworkers when I start Monday….
Hair products for men are ok in my book. It’s hair appliances (i.e. blow dryers, flat irons, etc.) that are not acceptable. That’s just going a little bit too far.
So rock that hair gel, Jeff!
Hair gels acceptable. But I doubt I’d ever run to the store to pick up hair supplies. That’s what ponytails and hats are for.
brownies, swedish fish, candy corn and cookies? Yes, those all deserve a trip to the store.
Ooh – your comment is making me so hungry I might have to run out to the store after reading it!
I’m AWFUL with names. And who wouldn’t leave for hair gel?!
Clearly, all real men need hair gel.
And they need it bad.
It’s a new breed of man today. Although hair gel was probably required in mass quantities for the duck tail. But I guess they all had their moms to buy pomade for them.
hair gel = metrosexual man
as is
insulin = diabetic
Can’t decide between “using his masculinity to scare away the serial killers” and “having used all my energy walking about for a few minutes” for which made me laugh harder. Please come to all my parties as the comedic entertainment!
Of course!
Though I caution – all the parties I attend either have really creepy people or end early with me sleeping against the wall, so this might not be as awesome as you anticipate!
Well that’s all very interesting but what we really want to know is the nature of your relationship with this Jeff person.
Spill it.
Oh Mindee – you make it sound as though I might have a secretive or interesting life! Have no fear, Jeff is just a friend. A much abused, but having known me for so many years to have learned to accept it, friend.
Ok, I just can’t get over the constellation of freckles on that arm. I swear it looks exactly like mine. So strange. Also, hair gel makes me think of the very unfortunate skater cut, bleach and perm my friend’s hairdresser mom gave me in Eugene, Oregon circa 1984, it nearly killed our friendship.
Hmm… I think it’s obvious we’re arm twins.
Now I feel as though we should bring our arms together and shout “arm power, unite!”
I can’t think of anything I would need so badly that I would race out of the house (in the cold!) to go and buy. Having said that, I CAN think of quite a few items that I would SEND someone to go and buy. Jeff is good to have around, but he must learn to ask others if there is anything they would like while he’s out.
Drat, you’re right – clearly he still needs some training!
Here’s the real question: is Jeff the kind of guy, were he to go (gasp) bald, that would purchase head-buffing creams? We had that scenario around here, with a bit of discussion about whether we thought we preferred a matte finish or a glossy shine.
We’ve moved looooong past that now.
I have to confess – I had no idea there were head buffing creams out there.
Oh, so much of the world I do not know!
How about the time he bought special boxers just for your lingerie party? Well, I guess that’s not a good story so much as proof that Jeff is an awesome friend.
Ha! Ha!
Hair gel is as important as deodorant. It’s true. :p
Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day.. It is nice to meet you. Since this is the first post I have read I may need to go back and read more post to know more about your story.. Thanks again..
My story: I’m an East Coast gal who loves reading, trashy television, cheese, North Africa, fuzzy socks and laughing at myself. I can’t remember names, spent Christmas Eve in jail, dream of owning a dog and fall asleep at parties. There – me in a nutshell!
Is he trying out for the next Jersey Shore?
Wait, people still use hair gel?
Thanks for stopping by my blog! And hair gel? He ran out for hair gel? I would definitely run out for chocolate, but I don’t know about hair gel
Chocolate is definitely worthy of a morning run – now that’s a reason I’d get up early and head out!
John is a way better name than Jeff.* You were just trying to make his life better.
And hair gel is a life essential. I’d have left too. Probably without showering, though.
* Just kidding. I rather like the name Jeff. But this is not about ME, it’s about making you feel better.
You’re a true friend.
Not like John.
I am SO bad with names. So if I ever say “hey you” you’ll know I forgot your name (which I have not by the way)
I will forever more believe you don’t know my name. That’s okay though – I’m so bad personally I have moved past the “hey you” stage as it was getting too suspicious, so now just never refer to people!
He didn’t have a hat? That’s always Alex’s solution…no hair gel, slap a hat on….no hat, mush around some hair gel.
I think I write this in every comment I leave for you, but I love you and your writing. “Using his masculinity to scare away the serial killers,” slayed me. Slayed!
Well, I don’t know how you Californians do it, but out here we need some masculinity to scare away bad guys. That and fake threats of gun ownership.
(IF YOU ARE A SERIAL KILLER READING THIS, YOU SHOULD KNOW MY THREATS ARE NOT FAKE AND I HAVE A GUN. A REALLY BIG ONE. AND I TOTALLY KNOW HOW TO USE IT. SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KILL SOMEONE ELSE. OR MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T KILL ANYONE AT ALL. IN FACT, SOME THERAPY MIGHT BE HELPFUL.)
Jeff without hair gel is really just John.
The truth emerges – I’m not forgetful, just wisely deep.
Of course!
lol! dudes and their hair gel. i thought that ended in the 90′s, but maybe not!
Did the hair gel have chocolate or cheese in it? Otherwise, I do not understand. At all.
I’d be a bit worried if I were you: serial killers aren’t scared by men with hair gel. Fact. I think you should mention this to, um, whatisname.
Frick.
Well, there goes my survival plan…
Hey Megan, thanks for checking out my blog – you and your blog are adorable! I’d have to weigh in and say I’m impressed with Jeff’s grooming integrity!
Are you sure it wasn’t rope?
Oh that Jeff, the metrosexual… I happen to be married to a “Jeff” or is his name Chris??
Confusing, right?
See, it’s alway the metrosexual names that get you!
If you ever saw me without hairgel (think Buckwheat from the Little Rascals), you’d thank me that I had the decency to find hairgel PRIOR to you waking up.
Well, Buckwheat was adorable, so you’re wrong!
A man after my own heart. Looks fine too.
Can’t see his hair in the picture. Was this deliberate teasing? Heh.
Oh yes – I’m all about taunting the world with glimpses of Jeff’s hair.
A gal’s gotta have a hobby.
That settles it! Jeff is a metro, like Craig.
1) Names are sooooo overrated.
2) Yep, nothing wards off serial killers like hair gel!
I can’t live without my hair gel either.
Megan, uhm, is Jeff cute? Does he have good hair? I mean, at least I assume he has hair and keeps away serial killers and I do like that in a man.
Jeff is quite attractive, though only from a friend perspective, as he has quite the lovely girlfriend! Who thankfully lets me borrow him to stay alive, when need be!