You would have thought my first (Attempts at) Cooking would have made me realize I should throw in the towel and invest in take-out Chinese and a microwave, but you’d be wrong.
Because I am both lazy and determined.
What can I say, I’m all about the unexpected.
The other night, Jeff and his girlfriend came over to bake cookies. We’re a wild crowd.
So here it is, your guide to Oatmeal Butterscotch Cookies, the lazy way.
The butter isn’t softened, but do people actually take their butter out hours before cooking to soften it? That sounds like WAY too much effort.
And does it matter? Maybe, but I say no. People the of the world, stop being bossed around by butter. What does it know?
Now you mix the hard butter together with 2 eggs, 3/4 cup granulated sugar, 3/4 cup brown sugar, and 1 tsp vanilla.
You forget to take photos of any of those ingredients.
You count the extra effort to mix the hard butter as your exercise for the day. It’s all about multi-tasking.
Now you add some flour. (about 2 cups)
Then you put in the oatmeal.
3 cups, which luckily Jeff’s girlfriend eats for breakfast and has handy. She is ever so useful.
And the butterscotch chips – two bags worth. Don’t worry about bag size, it only matters that there are two.
One of your friends frantically tells you not to use the mixer, or ingredients will fly everywhere, making your kitchen, if possible, messier.
Whew, you had a close call there.
Now add the baking soda. You thoughtlessly forget halfway through how much you’ve already put in, so just take a random guess here.
And then you mix. And mix. And mix.
This definitely counts as exercise…right?
Then you made them into balls and put them on baking sheets.
Seems simple.
You will find it impossible to get the dough to stick together.
Tell yourself this is the recipe’s fault, and not something you’ve done.
Later, cry about it. But only when you’re alone.
When you open the oven to put the cookies in, realize there is already a sheet. You’d forgotten to check before preheating. It seems too much of hassle to get it out, so just place the cookie sheet on top. Can’t hurt, right?
Then realize it is quite a nice night out, so you want to go for a walk. Some people might then remember they’re cooking, and wait until they had finished. You just set a timer for ten minutes. I mean, they’re your cookies right? They should wait for you.
Surprisingly, they’ll turn out pretty good.
