Some of you might remember a really long time ago when I used to do paid book reviews.
Most of you don’t because I stopped because book reviews are the worst for the following reasons:
A. You have to read a book. I actually read quite a lot of books, so you’d think this would be as easy as convincing yourself a guy alone on a street is there to murder you. You’d be quite wrong. Once you *have* to read a book it becomes like an assignment and I become like a high schooler. At least like I was as a high schooler. Which is very procrastinate-y.
B. You have to like the book. This is not *literally* required because of integrity and blah blah blah, but I feel like a terrible person writing that someone’s book is bad so then I get quite angsty about it.
Anyway, what I’m trying to share with you is that this is a book review.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
But when Kris wrote and asked if I’d read and review her new book, Fightball: Dying of Suck,I was immediately down. Because I have had a long love affair with her blog, Pretty All True. As in, I have spent many days reading her posts and feeling sad that I will never be that funny. But despite her terrible attacks on my self-esteem Kris is awesome. As is her book. And her book can probably convince you of that better than I. So, here, straight from the pages of her book, are some of my favorite lines.* (That includes the title, so if you were giving me credit for that clever underwear bon mot, take it back.)
“I know I would go shopping at a store that had my dead mom in the window.”
“Ironic that once you’re homeless and on the street, you’ll be better positioned to hear the word on the street, which… I promise you… is that you’re poor student material.”
“WHY MUST I ALWAYS LIVE MY LIFE IN FEAR”
(This last one is clearly the one I relate to the most.)
(It’s a hilarious fictional (ish?) tale of two daughters and their parents moving from California to Oregon, from home schooling to public schools, from owning two frogs to, well. not.)
OH, and I’m** giving away 3 copies of Fightball: Dying of Suck to the best 3 comments. So try to work in a pun, I have an embarrassing weakness for them.
* In all honestly, Kris provided me with the book via a Kindle copy via an email, probably because she assumed I understood technology. I couldn’t end up figuring out how to get said book on my actual Kindle, so just opened it on the Kindle app on my phone. Wherein I highlighted all my favorite lines while reading. After which I finished, closed the book, then was able to re-open it on the app while never, ever again seeing those highlights. So these lines are the ones I was able to semi-remember/find while scanning back through the book. I deeply apologize to any of my actual favorite highlights that were lost forever in my phone’s sarlacc.
** Kris is.
(To clarify what might have been confusing above, I am not getting paid for this review. Which, let’s face it, would rather necessitate a refund.)
URGENT COMMENT UPDATE! If you leave a comment (have I reminded you to leave a comment?) then you get a strange error message that’s rather victim-blame-y. However, the comment does still come through and shows on my end. So feel free to leave comments, I’m off to learn how these computer things work so one day you’ll all see the comments. And maybe get less error messages.
URGENT BLOGGING UPDATE! So some of you have noted in the comments that I didn’t include a link to purchase Fightball: Dying of Suck because of previously stated incompetence. I apologize for the error.
And the winners are…
Karen Jeanne (for the phrase “the giggles & the shivers), Camille (for hating underwear & calling Kris out in the comments), & Sharon (for finding the correct link when I fell down on the job)
Congrats! And if you didn’t win, and have an interest in discovering how this whole frog situation turns out, buy Fightball with money – it’s totally worth it.
(If you feel your comment was worthy of winning but you didn’t and you know me in real life, I possibly skipped you over to avoid charges of nepotism from the nobody-I-don’t-know who reads this. So really it’s the anti-nepotism. Sucks to know me.)
(Not to say that if you don’t know me and you won, it was a sort of affirmative action for not knowing me. You were completely worthy.)
(Basically, ignore absolutely everything I’ve written here.)