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Super Human Stuffed Eggplant


Sometimes a gal just needs some eggplant.

You know what that means – it’s a new (attempt at) cooking post!

These have trailed off lately because of the cold front sweeping down from Canada and vicious fighting within Norwegian politics and my laziness.

Mostly the last one.

But now I’m back and I’m gonna show you how to make stuffed eggplant – assuming you want to skip important steps, take no safety precautions around knives and move at super speeds.


First cut up the eggplant.

Sure, you could cut it on cutting boards, or take even the most basic safety measures against losing a finger in a bloody accident.

But doesn’t it seem easier to just slice at it while holding it above the kitchen floor?

It isn’t.

Don’t fall into that trap.


Slice slice slice, slice slice slice, slice your eggplant.


In what you’ll notice is a trend in stuffed eggplant, make sure your every action is so fast it cannot be captured by the human eye.

Or camera.

If you assume that’s a mistake in the photography – rest assured, it’s just super human speed.


As always, there should be a friend standing by with an onion.


Spread a random amount of kosher salt over the exposed eggplant innards.



Encouragement of onion friend can range from gentle prodding to cattle prodding.

The choice is yours.


Basil plucking isn’t a pretty job.

But somebody’s gotta do it.


The purpose of spreading salt on the eggplant is to draw the water out, water which will ooze out, making your eggplant look like a man who’s spent an hour at a gym or me after climbing the one flight of stairsย at work.

Squeeze all the excess moisture out of the eggplant and into the sink.

Or don’t.

There was a huge debate over whether the eggplant sweat was suppose to stay or go – and as none of us know what we’re talking about, feel free to make your own judgment call.


Maintaining sonic speed, brush your freshly squeezed eggplants with olive oil.

You do have sonic speed, right?


‘Cause it’s going to be imperative for the put-the-eggplants-in-the-oven step.

And for saving endangered citizens.


Friends, painfully deprived of manual labor, will be forced to sit on your counters.

We all know that isn’t right.

Friends don’t let friends be deprived of manual labor.


Whew, that’s better.

You pluck that basil.


Even the laying on of basil must be accomplished at super speed.


Or else.

Probably nothing will happen.

But do you really want to risk it?


Don’t forget to always cook barefoot.

Just to keep it classy.


Put your chopped onion into a pan with some olive oil.

Yes, you’re still working at super speeds.

No, you’re not sick of it.

‘Cause I said so, that’s why.


I have no explanation for why I choose to cut the garlic this way.



Tomatoes should be a part of every recipe.

Unless you’re cooking for my mom.

She doesn’t like tomatoes.

So maybe that first suggestion was a bit hyperbolic.

Sometimes I go too far.

I’m sorry.


Pressssssss that garliiiiiiic.


It’s a bird!

It’s a plane!

It’s a blogger adding pressed garlic to the pot.


In case I’m moving too fast to observe here, I just added tomatoes, salt, pepper, ginger and white wine.

Except I’m fairly certain I forgot the ginger.

Even super heroes make mistakes.


After 45 minutes in the oven the eggplant is done.

How can you tell?

Well, it’s been 45 minutes.



Gently use a random knife to pry the eggplant innards out.


Then mix them into the pot.


Wait, I’m being allowed to use a knife?

That can’t be right.


Skye quickly steps in to save the night.

For some reason, she switches from a knife to a spoon.

The world may never know why.

But probably for safety purposes.


After the eggplant’s body has mixed and cooked with the vegetables, return it to its flesh.



The next step is instinctive.




My preciousssssss.


After a quick trip back home to the oven, the stuffed eggplant is finally ready to make its way to its eternal home ย – my belly.

The end.

Sure I’ve got super human speed but what I wanted was x-ray vision,


p.s.~ Tomorrow’s post is gonna be another What Was I Thinkin’ contest, so come on over, this time the prize won’t suck as much!

p.p.s.~ The recipe for this post comes from 2 Lemons. Apparently she doesn’t have super powers but did make this dish without any mistakes, so is probably still better than me.

{ 63 comments… add one }

  • Alicia Blogs January 11, 2011, 1:09 am

    Looks so good!!!

  • Bernie January 11, 2011, 1:17 am

    Wow! That looks very ambitious. I will have to share this with a friend of mine who loves eggplant. Your pictures were great!

  • Big Daddy January 11, 2011, 2:23 am

    This looks delicious. Damn you Norwegian politics for keeping this recipe from me up until now. Was the friend standing by with onion, Skye? If so, when was she paroled?

    Interesting side note – My nickname in grade school was Stuffed Eggplant. I did not have a happy childhood.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:40 pm

      It was Skye – you’ve clearly made quite the study of Skye’s hands. And she’s been out for a while now, ever since she escaped was paroled a week ago.

  • Stay At Home Babe January 11, 2011, 5:17 am

    Okay, seriously… why are you cutting the garlic like that?!

    Second, is that the Jamie Oliver garlic press and slicer? If so, I totally have that same one and isn’t it a bitch to clean out? Works well… hard to clean. And also, take the sticker off the back! Hygiene requires that you do this immediately… and you know, common sense. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:40 pm

      Well, sure, now that you’ve written it down in seems like common sense.

      When I was thoughtlessly pressing my garlic it seemed like an unnecessary step!

  • Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli January 11, 2011, 8:33 am

    You lost me at eggplant. But I do like cheese.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:41 pm

      It was actually quite good – and I don’t like eggplant!

  • Sara January 11, 2011, 8:37 am

    Yippee! By the way, you did the right thing throwing away the sweaty eggplant sweat. But I’m glad a rousing debate was had, because that makes almost every recipe better.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:41 pm

      Oh yes – the debates are often the best part of cooking nights.

      That and the food.

  • Scraps January 11, 2011, 8:54 am

    The chef pipes up (lol): You salt and drain eggplant to reduce the bitterness that is off-putting to many.

    In the future (should you make this recipe again) I’d suggest hollowing-out the eggplant boats first, cubing and salting and draining (in a collander with a plate pressing the cubed veg down a bit via the weight of a can of other veg) the innards and then cooking the cubed eggplant along with the other filling ingredients. This way you could skip the first baking step, baking the stuffed eggplants for 30 minutes or so and then adding the cheese at the end, just long enough to get nice and melty.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:42 pm

      Wow…. okay, now that sounds like a good plan. Though I’m sure I’d find a way to mess even that up!

  • Mindee@ourfrontdoor January 11, 2011, 9:40 am

    I. Love. Your. Cooking. Posts. And this may be my favorite of all of them.

    Never in my life have I eaten eggplant. I don’t know why. I think it’s because my mother hates eggplant so she never made it for us so now I’m suspicious. If I were to eat eggplant though, I too would make cheese was involved.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:42 pm

      I’m going to bring back the cooking posts.

      I’m quite excited.

      I’m also quite lazy though.

      So it might not happen.

  • Nerdyredneck Rob January 11, 2011, 9:52 am

    What? You stuffed eggplant with human? Well yeah, I am *sure* they were super. I had heard Jeffery Dahmer put out a recipe book but I had no idea anyone bought it.

    Safe cracking zombie blasting car stealing art show attending cannibal. Man taqlk about your well rounded personality! That is quite the resume you are building up and I have only been reading a couple of weeks! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:43 pm

      Well, human skin is addictive, so once you start there’s really nothing else to do but keep snacking…

  • Skye January 11, 2011, 10:00 am

    If only they didn’t taste so much like eggplant. (We probably should have seen that coming.)

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:43 pm

      Sneaky eggplant.

  • Jodi January 11, 2011, 11:27 am

    I’m not much of an eggplant person, but this really looks good. I will have to try it soon!

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:44 pm

      I’m actually not an eggplant fan at all, but thought it was quite good. Let me know what you think if you try it!

  • laurenne January 11, 2011, 11:43 am

    Mmmmmmmm! You’ve inspired me to not eat a frozen dinner tonight. Seriously. Yes!
    Wish you could come and help. I have nobody to sit on my counters.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 6:44 pm

      Your counters remain un-sat-upon?

      Now that is tragically sad.

      But don’t worry – I’m there, metaphorically sitting on your counters.

      You know, in the non-creepy way.

  • Jen January 11, 2011, 12:08 pm

    Oh this looks so yummy!

    I want to make it and then eat it all.

    No sharing.

    And why were you cooking at 8:55pm?

    I suppose that is what single people do.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:03 pm

      It’s what people whose friends are always running really late who starve and don’t get to eat until really late do.

  • Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points January 11, 2011, 12:10 pm

    Now I feel that babaganoush (spelling at the discretion of the commenter, obviously) will be on the menu this weekend.

    Cause that looks LOVELY.

    And wonderfully documented.

  • erica January 11, 2011, 12:18 pm

    Eggplant is just one thing I will not even attempt to cook… but yours looks delicious!

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:04 pm

      Why not?

      If I can do it, it’s gotta be easy!

  • Kelley January 11, 2011, 1:16 pm

    I always avoid eggplant, but this…THIS…looks like something I might eat. I actually might even devour this one.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:07 pm

      It’s delicious – and I don’t normally like eggplant, so that’s how good it is.

  • Kimberly January 11, 2011, 1:27 pm

    What just happened here? Knife slinging without a license? No, the real question is was it edible?

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:08 pm

      My new life goal is to get a knife slinging license.

      ‘Cause that’s gonna come in handy.

  • Christina Harper January 11, 2011, 1:32 pm

    Great, and now I’m starving!!!!!!

  • Bodaciousboomer January 11, 2011, 2:18 pm

    That looks truly yummy. However, I worry about your knife skills young one. If you become too cavalier with a knife and lop off a phalange it would be harder for you to blog. Cute post.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:13 pm

      I should have thought of the possible blog consequences – thank goodness there was no garlic-knife incident!

  • Melissa January 11, 2011, 5:28 pm

    That looks yummy! Well, except for the eggplant part and all. But the rest of it looks yummy!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • UP January 11, 2011, 6:42 pm

    Looks great, sounds yummy, and very labor intensive.

    You could do it the Southern, er, Redneck Latte way…slice it, bread it, and fry it.



    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:19 pm

      Most things I do are sadly labor intense – it’s because I mess everything up so it takes twice as long!

  • Sundayk January 11, 2011, 6:50 pm

    That looks AMAZING!!!!! We love eggplant; I am totally going to make this!

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:19 pm

      Yay – you’ll have to make it and tell me what you think!

  • Julie January 11, 2011, 7:05 pm

    Haha! Supersonic speed at Megan’s!

    And what do I take away from this post? That the microwave and oven clock’s are 8 minutes apart. I’m now wondering what time it really was when you took the eggplant out of the oven. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:20 pm

      Doesn’t that drive you crazy?

      It drives me crazy too.

      Not crazy enough that I fix it.

      But crazy.

  • Melisa January 11, 2011, 7:58 pm

    After the eggplant sweats we usually just wipe the excess with a paper towel! At least that is what my mom does and passed on to me. Damn, now I am in the mood for eggplant parm!

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:21 pm

      Oooh – eggplant parm is definitely the best eggplant dish out there. And looking back, a towel might have been easier.

  • liz January 11, 2011, 9:00 pm

    Thank goodness for Skye and her sense, er, um, I mean SPOON.

    You make fancy dinners, you know that?

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:28 pm

      Oh, they’re not that fancy – that’s just the things we can come up with that are vegetarian and acceptable to most of us!

  • Malach January 11, 2011, 9:28 pm

    Malach Hungry, Malach SMASH PUNY HUMAN!

  • Sandy January 11, 2011, 11:00 pm

    ok, i am new here…but according to your twitter page you are located in northern virginia. my question to you is…WHAT DO YOU HAVE YOUR HEAT SET ON THAT EVERYONE CAN HANG OUT IN TANK TOPS AND SHORTS? i am covered from heat to foot in something fuzzy at all times just to keep from turning blue! any who, i’ll skip all steps in your recipe till the last one. i’ll take my cheese straight up please =o)

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:31 pm

      We’re a hardy, well-insulated bunch! And actually the temperature is freezing, as I’m quite cheap.

      I’m not quite sure what we’re doing.

      We suffer from group-wide craziness.

  • Vicarious Chelsea January 11, 2011, 11:59 pm

    Ok, here’s the problem. I’m not a big fan of eggplant. I know, right? But when you add super human speeds, crazy dangerous knifing, and cheese… I just feel so confused.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:31 pm

      I’m here to challenge your life long held beliefs – next up, clowns are awesome!

  • JallieDaddy January 12, 2011, 5:25 am

    Looks delicious!

  • The Grasshoppa January 12, 2011, 8:52 am

    I can’t believe you never told me you have super powers. That really explains a lot. Not pass the preciousssssssssssss cheese. I’m not sure if I even like egg plant. But it sure looks good.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:33 pm

      Doesn’t it explain a lot?

      Especially that one night we spent together.

      I think you know to what I refer.

  • daisy January 12, 2011, 2:11 pm

    omgosh – I didn’t know that’s how you sweat an eggplant!! In fact – I’ve cooked eggplant many times and have always just guessed at the best way. *blush* silly me!!

    Thanks for the tips!! I may have to give this a try. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:34 pm

      Don’t feel silly – I only knew the trick because it was in the recipe.

      And even then I got all confused and had a huge debate over squeezing!

  • Missy Jill January 12, 2011, 6:30 pm

    A cooking post, yay! I have a random tip for you-
    NEVER ever, ever, watch a cooking show on how to make beefy enchiladas while you have the flu.
    I discovered this the hard way.
    Reading this post while having the flu was border-line okay.

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:36 pm

      Somehow I survived writing the post while having the flu – though it was a close call!

      And I’m very, very glad I didn’t come across cooking shows while sick. ‘Cause I shiver just thinking of the beefy enchiladas.

  • Shay Shay January 13, 2011, 10:30 am

    Yummy!!! I’m so trying this. Although your super human speed was impressive, the thing I liked best was this quote: “Don’t forget to always cook barefoot. Just to keep it classy.” lol!

    • Megan January 19, 2011, 7:39 pm

      I’m all about keeping it classy. And barefoot. And cheesy.

  • alonewithcats January 21, 2011, 5:43 pm

    You keep distracting me with mentions of Canada. But I persevered.

    You stuff the eggplant … with eggplant? It’s vegetable cannibalism, I tell you.

    • Megan January 24, 2011, 11:12 pm

      Ah, you’ve caught onto my devious Canadian plans.

      Sadly, this means you must be taken care of.

      You know, in the non-butler sense.

  • Cindy November 1, 2011, 3:28 pm

    You are adorable and hysterical and I think you should teach cooking!

    thanks for stopping by my der blog!


    • Megan November 1, 2011, 4:49 pm

      Sadly, I fear any cooking class taught by me would quickly end in gruel and knife accidents and grease fires. But at least it’d be an enjoyable hour before chaos descended!

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