The 25 Awkwardest Accomplishments of 2013

January 2, 2014

Yesterday I came across a blog post by Monica Bourgeau suggesting everyone look back on 2013 and list 25 accomplishments. She suggests including things like:

projects you completed, celebrations you facilitated or took part in, family events you scheduled, taking care of your health by completing doctor or dental visits, thoughtful things you did for others, new hobbies or sports you started, fears you overcame, challenges or roadblocks you surmounted, supporting someone else through their challenge or roadblock, paying off debt, eating healthier, starting a gratitude practice, or donating time or money to a worthwhile cause.

When I made my list, it took a different turn.

But, despite their quality, I did accomplish quite a lot in 2013, including:

1. I sucked at least one person into my web of friendship.

(Her name is Lisa.)

(Let us hope she never reads this.)

(My web is only slightly sticky and prone to dropping its prey.)

2. I survived Skye moving to another country.


3. I forced my friends to take a sad group selfie outside a funeral.

4. I realized sad funeral selfies are actually a really bad idea.

5. I forgot my sad funeral group selfie realization during the after-party.

6. I realized that despite my inability to remember it’s called a reception, it’s also a really bad idea to call a funeral reception an after-party.

(In my defense, Allison mis-understood a text and thought we were being invited to a secondary reception, which could only be called the after-after-party, which is what placed the after-party phrasing in my mind.)

7. I re-realized sad funeral selfies are a really bad idea.

8. I realized I might not have forgotten the first lesson if funeral after parties didn’t come with free Whiskey.

(Mine also came with free ginger ale, as I’m not funeral hardcore.)

9. I did not burn down my house.

(Not every 2013 accomplishment took place at a funeral.)

(Though I did attend three funerals this year, one more than the number of weddings I attended, which a friend suggested is the ultimate sign of old age.)

My living room, right now. Because I'm bad at adulthood.

10. I organized my book shelves by color.

(Don’t worry, most of those skulls are seasonal.)

11. I decided color-coded bookshelves are a terrible idea as it now takes me roughly 10 minutes to find a specific book.

12. I resolved to re-organize bookshelves in 2014.

13. I stopped eating meat.

The excited face of a girl who remembered to do laundry and is thus wearing clean underwear!

14. I broke my first bone.

(Which led to my first non-wisdom teeth removing surgery.)

15. I finished reading all of Agatha Christie’s Poirot books.

(Unless that was in 2012. It’s all a Belgian murder solving blur.)

16. I ran my first (and last) zombie 5k.

17. I bought my first a lot of paint.

18. I started a non-fiction book club with my friends.

19. I stopped scheduling the meetings for the non-fiction book club, thus killing said book club.

(But in a very passive murder manner.)

20. I drank my first glass of sweet tea.

21. I did not have a single dog die under my care.

(The same cannot be said for cats.)

(Purrl, you’re sorely missed.)

22. I learned Vikings didn’t have horns on their helmets.

23. I ate a nut that had passed through an elephant.

I may have gotten myself a little something to remember Asheville by. #epicroadtrip

24. I discovered you can buy  happiness.

(And you can lose happiness.)

(Has anybody seen a green skull ring?)

25. I was not murdered by a serial killer.

(Due, I’m sure, to my constant vigilance, not, as my father suggests, it being an unlikely event that I fear because of deep-set paranoia.)

What were your accomplishments in 2013?


The 25 Awkwardest Accomplishments of 2013

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