The Epic Return of the Grandma

November 26, 2012

And thus my Grandma returns to Virginia.

My Grandma has returned.

I was saddened at the beginning of the year when she returned home to St. Louis, and not just by the shame I experienced at her local rental car agency.

So I was quite excited to learn that she would be moving, for real this time, back to Northern Virginia.

This was clearly an event worthy of a welcome sign.

(I was going to make a corresponding “Grandma” sign, but turns out that requires less laziness than resides within me.)

Those of you who remember the last time she was in town may recall that my Grandma is hilarious.

(For proof, please see my favorite Grandma story ever.)

Now, stories like the Skye is Gorgeous one don’t come along every day, so I was quite thrilled with my Grandma’s first words when I picked her up at the airport yesterday.

I walked over to her in baggage claim and smiled and she looked up at me, started, and said “How did you lose all that weight?”

I hesitated a moment before responding “I…Grandma, I haven’t lost any weight.”

I could detail to you the rest of that conversation, including her insistence that I certainly have since the last time she saw me, or her eventual concession that maybe my outfit yesterday was particularly flattering.

Or the two conversations we’ve had since then, both of which revolved around her insistence that I’m keeping my massive weight loss a secret.

But what I really want to focus on is the perfection of her initial sentence.

“How did you lose all that weight?”

Let’s break this down, shall we?

How did you lose all that weight?”

It’s not that she’s impressed I’ve slimmed down, rather puzzled and curious as to how such a thing could have occurred.

Have I starved myself?

Taken up long distance running?

Perhaps had an elective surgery?

She just wants to know.

“How did you lose all that weight?”

It’s not just that I look thinner or more toned, no, there is quite a bit of weight missing from my body and it’s quite the shock.

I’m not down a wee bit of weight, or a few pounds, or a single stone.

No, the weight lost is enough to be classified as “all.”

For, in my Grandma’s mental picture of me, I have all the weight.

Finally, ’cause I know you’re dying to see my magical transformation, I’ve dug up some photographic examples.

My Grandma moved back to St. Louis in Week Six of this year.

(Yes, Project Life has me now counting time in weekly increments.)

Becky Higgins Project Life Week 8

These photos are from the Oscars party I fake threw in Week Eight.

Denver, CO Thinness

This photo is me and my #ExcitedFace at Red Rocks while visiting Sharon a few months ago.

(I know, not exactly up-to-the-minute, but apparently I don’t take enough full body photos.)

(And, I promise you, any weight change in the last few months has been in quite the opposite direction of loss.)

And if all you’re left wondering is just how I accomplished my transformation?

Well, that’s a secret I’m apparently unwilling to share.

I can hardly wait for my next Grandma story,



Equally Awkward Reads

* 7 Things I Love About My Grandma’s House

* My Grandma & My Best Friend

* Movie Monday

The Epic Return of the Grandma

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