“Come on, I’m kinda drunk… and you’re kinda attractive,” John murmured in my ear.
I burst out laughing as he stumbled over an apology.
“I didn’t mean that, you know what I meant,” he slowly uttered, his inability to think quickly confirming his ‘kinda drunk’ status.
I pushed his arms away, still bent over laughing and ran towards the couch.
“What are you doing?” Lindsey politely inquired as I rifled through her purse.
“Your phone, I need your phone, I need to write something down so I don’t forget it,” I breathlessly exclaimed, still laughing.
I exhaled loudly at entering John’s words into Lindsey’s phone, relieved I’d remember and be able to share them with the world come morning.
John was still standing behind me, trying to apologize desperately but lacking the ability to utter more than slow drawls.
“I didn’t mean it, you know I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.”
“No,” I responded, “don’t be. That’s hilarious, I’m going to tell everyone I know.“
“Ugh, you think I’m an asshole.”
“Eh, not really. You’re definitely going to look like one in posterity though.” Just the thought of it caused me to once more start hysterically laughing.
Not long after John got up off the couch, grabbed his coat, and walked out the door.
While John may have left our lives, I’ll always be grateful he left in his wake the ultimate pick-up line.
Now you all know what happened next,
Megan
Wooing Boys
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
That is definitely not a line I would utter, but it sounds like he was genuine in wanting to get to know you.
Poor John! haha! Still hilarious that he said that.
Boy… he just keeps getting better. Love it!
Hi Megan, thanks for stopping by my blog and your blog is wonderful as well. Lovely pic by the way…I published your comment but somehow it’s not showing so wonder if you can post it again. I think blogger is acting up, really hate when that happens.
Wild Rose aka Space Cowgirl ~
Ha, he sounds classy, let me tell ya…I’ve run into many guys like him in the past. Chivlary is not lost on these ones…
Huh Meg scratch that, i just saw it now so don’t worry about it…the disappearing comment
Dear John-
You’re kinda an asshole.
Kinda.
Awesome! Everyone should have a legacy. John – this is yours.
Please allow me to try to explain this from a male perspective:
When we’re sober, we’re kind of foolish. When we’re kind of drunk, kind of foolish goes out the window and manifests itself into a lexicon of…
Okay, Yeah. I’m out of ideas here as for how to substantiate. But I do admit to having tried some pretty lame pick-up lines when I’ve been inebriated in the past. As I recall, they all worked as well as John’s did.
Well, kind of.
ha, ha, ha, ha… That’s like trying to get a girl to sleep with you by saying… “I’m kind of horny and you’re kind of available”
haha…. I know someone who used that line and it worked…. (not on me)
Be careful what you say around a blogger!! Ha!
That’s awesome. I’m so, so glad you had the presence of mind to record that.
LOL! That is fabulous.
I am SO GLAD you didn’t go outside with him. Not that I was really worried you would because you have self-respect and self-esteem and other important self-things. But still, good to know.
Now I kind of feel sorry for the brute.
Ok that totally wins. Nothing in my repertoire of bad pick up lines could ever beat that.
I wish he read your blog.
(And if he does…HI JOHN! NICE ONE!)
Oh Megan, that has got to be the WORST pick-up line ever . . . so, in John’s book, you’re not attractive, you’re kinda attractive . . . so, what does that mean? You’re a quarter, half-way there? You should contact this John and ask him those follow-up questions.
He is never going to live that down.
Dumb John. Big dumb John. Kind of an asshole for sure.
Note to self: Never hit on Megan. She will just laugh at your carefully crafted pick-up lines.
Sigh.
I reckon John is lucky he skeedadled when he did, correctamundo?
i like how you try to calm his fears by telling him you’re going to tell everyone you know what he said.
Was John cute?
And I also adore La Madeleine’s Tomato Basil Soup.
I love that you recorded it for posterity…so classic!
Poor John. I bet he worked on that line all night.
But now he has become somewhat of an internet legend.. or cult figure if you will.
The obvious observation – John’s a jerk, kinda.
But good for you for not being one of those stupid girls who would giggle, twirl her hair and say “ok.” Because if John were kinda cute, I might have
The thought of this exchange has had me smiling for days.
Not bad, for never having met you! (‘Course, we are e-BFFs, so I guess it only makes sense…)
I know, right!
I’m so glad other people understand my joy at this story.
I think you should let all your readers know that John was wearing this shirt:
http://store.starsandinfinitedarkness.com/shshhamet.html
Yes, I did google “Lumberjack Punching Bear” and it came up right away!
LOL.
Thank goodness for men and their boyisms. Gives us something to laugh at and mock.
And there is nothing as glorious as blogger revenge. EVIL LAUGH!
That poor boy needs to learn a few lessons. 1) he obviously doesn’t know when to put his drink down 2) he OBVIOUSLY doesn’t know how to talk to a woman 3) he should never, never drink around a blogger!
lol…
Megan
I agree, the shirt really contributed to his look!
I love that you finished this story. So funny! Ahhhh…the hazards of trying to pick up or date a blogger. I would have written about it too!!
Meeting or propositioning or friending a blogger? There’s no safety there.
Man I wish blogging was a thing when I was in college.
Er, actually. Maybe I don’t.
Crap. I just TOTALLY dated myself.